Saying Goodbye To 2020

Hello all!

Here we are, at the end of another year but oh my goodness what a year it’s been!

Living through the COVID19 Pandemic is bound to end up being something that gets taught in schools at some point or another and it’s been so bizarre to be trying to lead a semi normal life whilst there’s this “thing” just hovering over the planet and forcing us all to change how we do everything.

I know I’ve had to make a lot of changes this year.

The most obvious change being that I’ve had to stop doing photo shoots for basically the entire year. Which considering I’m a model and make money off of my images…that was a difficult transition.

My wedding has had to be postponed indefinitely.

We couldn’t have proper celebrations for Halloween, my fiancé’s birthday, or Christmas. The kink events I was going to be hosting this year all had to be cancelled. My trip to London to get my training to become a tester for THT got cancelled. There’s so much that had to be cancelled or put on hold and of course I understand why but it does still make me sad.

This year has been weird and I’m not sure that next year will be much different but at least I feel more prepared and will feel comfortable (mostly) sticking to online socialising.

Fingers crossed I will be able to go back to having proper photo shoots again soon though. Selfies are fine but they definitely are not the best.

But enough about the less than amazing side of things. Let’s look at the positives!

Some of My Favourite Things of 2020

I started working for Umbrella Lane:

I love my job with Umbrella Lane – I really feel like I get to contribute and that I’m an important member of the team. My work mates are wonderful. There’s always something to be done and it’s a very passionate topic for me so it’s far too easy to stay focussed and really put my all into everything we’re doing.

Relationships:

Although I’ve had to change how I keep in touch with people and severely limit my physical contact with others, this year has been really good for me to be able to work on boundaries, figuring out what I want from relationships and who I want to be in a relationship with.

Whether it’s friendships, romantic relationships or sexual relationships. It’s been so interesting to have time apart forced on me to give me perspective. To see who I end up missing and who I want to reach out to. Plus seeing who reaches out to me.

Being poly, bisexual and an extrovert should give you a clear enough idea that I like being with people. I like having connections with people and building relationships. But sometimes I let myself get burnt out trying to sustain relationships that I don’t even want anymore and I think this time “on my own” has really helped to highlight that (that and my wonderful therapist).

It’s also really made me appreciate the relationships I do have.

I have a wonderful fiancé that supports me to do whatever I want to do and always has my back or a cup of tea when I’m stressing out. I have a lovely boyfriend who keeps me smiling and reminds me that I don’t have to take care of everyone else. I’ve got the most adorable fuck buddy/boyfriend/insert label here??? that’s just so soft and sweet and helpful. I’ve got brilliant friends that will check in on me and make sure I’m doing ok when they know I’ve got a lot on my plate.

I feel so fortunate to have so many positive and wonderful people in my life.

Finally Getting Therapy:

Thanks to the wonderful people at WellbeingScotland I finally have gotten some talk therapy/counselling and I’m over the moon about it.

It’s really helped me to start addressing things that I had kept putting off and tried to convince myself that they weren’t really issues. I feel like I have so much to work through but that I’ve got the space to do it now. It’s really nice and reassuring.

I’m sure I’m forgetting things, this year hasn’t been the easiest to keep track of. It’s felt like the longest March in existence haha.

But I’m hopeful that 2021 will be better. It might not be amazing and we might not quite get back to “normal” but I’m ok with that.

My Hopes For 2021

I hope that I’ll be able to have my wedding in 2021.

I hope that I’ll have my job with Umbrella Lane confirmed/secured for another year in 2021.

I hope that my income will stabilise and I’ll be able to start getting out of debt in 2021.

I hope that I’ll be able to pull together some amazing photo shoots in 2021.

I hope that I continue to grow as a person in 2021.

I hope that my friends and loved ones will be safe and happy in 2021.

I hope the world will become a kinder place in 2021.

What are your hopes for the new year? How has this year been for you?

Be sure to follow me here/on social media to stay up to date with everything I’m getting up to in the new year!

Until then, stay safe & be happy x

Blue’s Mini Holiday with the #GymBae 1st – 3rd Nov 2020

Hello all!

I’ve finally managed to get some time to sit down and tell you about my mini holiday! It wasn’t far from home but it was a much needed break from daily life. It was also a wonderful way to celebrate the first anniversary of one of my partners.

We stayed at the gorgeous and entirely dreamy Alamo Guest House for 2 nights and honestly I was so sad to leave haha. The staff were wonderful. The room was gorgeous. Breakfast each morning was scrumptious! Although I have to say the bath and shower might just be the best things about the Alamo.

Here’s just a few pictures to give you an idea of what it was like.

Of course COVID19 restrictions were still in place so we were a little limited to what we could and couldn’t do. Luckily we managed to find some lovely ways to spend our time.

Including going for afternoon tea in the hidden lane tea room!

We had some delicious treats and lovely tea. I couldn’t help but try their oreo brownie and was not at all disappointed, I even found a new favourite tea – London Fog. It was gorgeously sweet and creamy and went perfectly with the brownie. The cups and tea pots were all so cute as well. It really was a lovely afternoon treat.

One other cool thing about the hidden lane tea room that I wanted to tell you all about was their digital tipping. They were using an app called tipjar which let’s you send a tip straight to the staff with the app, meaning I didn’t have to worry about having cash. Which is especially great right now in the middle of a pandemic where we’re all trying not to touch things other people have touched.

So yeah, it was something small but cool that I wanted to share with people ^_^

The other wonderful thing about the Alamo is that it’s just around the corner from the Kelvingrove Art Gallery & Museum! So of course we went for a visit. I always like visiting the ancient Egypt section, ever since I was younger, not to mention the really cool taxidermy animals they have on display. I was very chuffed with myself when I managed to remember/guess what a few of the birds were.

We didn’t take many pictures whilst we were in. We were more interested in enjoying the pictures and exhibits that were on display.

Getting out for an evening meal was probably the most tricky part of the entire mini holiday. The restrictions meant that restaurants were closing at around 6pm each night and that most of the places were reservation only.

Which would have been fine if we’d realised that in advance…

Fortunately though Pizza Punks had plenty of space for us (we were the only customers for the first 30-40 minutes of being there) and the staff were so friendly. The food was delicious (even though I misread the menu and ordered spicy pulled pork that left me a little warmer than I’d have liked haha) and I’m so glad we went along. Our waitress Sarah even gave us some love hearts when my partner told her it was our anniversary dinner.

The #GymBae and I did get a giggle out of the Tier 3 deal too. For context, part of the COVID restrictions at Tier 3 was that alcohol wasn’t allowed to be sold in restaurants/pubs/etc. So Pizza Punks gave everyone a pizza and an unlimited refill soft drink for £15 as a special Tier 3 deal.

On the final day of the mini holiday we treated ourselves to one last trip to a cafe.

A small super cute cafe called Okashi with Japanese inspired styling was our final treat. They had unicorn cupcakes, hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows, milkshakes that came with a cloud of candy floss on top and so many more adorable sweets. It was lovely.

It was a super cute way to round off the mini holiday and hopefully we’ll get the chance to go back for a second visit some time.

And that’s everything!

It was a super lovely, extremely cute and, much needed, relaxing time away.

With how crazy 2020 has been I can’t even describe how grateful I am that I got to have these few days to relax and unwind. I know I haven’t been the best at keeping you all updated this year but there’s just been so much happening all the time it’s been difficult to keep everything balanced out enough to be able to take the time to sit down and let you all know.

But I’ll be getting my new computer very soon and I’m hoping that will be the push I need to get back on top of my posting schedule. So keep an eye out for (fingers crossed) more regular updates coming soon!

Stay safe & be happy x

Catching Up 4.11.2020

Hello all, I almost can’t believe that this is my first blog post of 2020 but at the same time I think that perfectly illustrates how chaotic 2020 has been. When I first decided to write a blog post today it was just to talk about my mini holiday. However after realising that this is the first blog of 2020 I feel I should spend some time catching up on what’s been happening.

The short version would be that I started working for the charity Umbrella Lane, then COVID19 hit the UK and since then it’s been a blur of chaos and doing my best to survive.

But if you’ve been around for any length of time then you know I have so much more to tell you and that this will be a very long blog post (sorry not sorry). You’ve been warned, leave now if you don’t want to read 10 months worth of updates.

Continue reading “Catching Up 4.11.2020”

New Years – 31.12.19

Hello lovelies!

Here we are at the end of the year and the eve of the new year. It’s an energising time of year, a time of reflections and resolutions. So let’s make today’s post about the things that have happened this year and finish with looking to the future.

 

2019

 

January: 

 

The start of the year was much like the rest of the year: hectic.

But I did manage to get some fabulous photo shoots, one for my birthday and one for Burn’s night.

 

 

February

 

February was Valentine’s day and again I got some lovely shoots organised. It was also when I started sending out the rewards from my Suicide Girls Hopeful Set Kickstarter (try saying that 3 times fast haha). I’m still so unbelievably thankful to everyone that chipped in to that Kickstarter and I am considering doing another one in the future but there are so many things I would change. So I’ll keep you updated on that haha.

 

 

March

 

March went by in a bit of a blur to be honest, there was a fun witchy shoot and prep for Easter shoots. I got along to a local LARP that I’d been meaning to go to for the longest time, so that was fun. Spent so much time with Bouncer at the park hahaha.

 

 

April

 

Started with my hair colour being refreshed by my favourite hairdressers ^_^ it’s always nice to start the month with a colour top up. There was a lot of exploring in April, seeing as the weather was better. I went to the Botanic Gardens, and abandoned Walled Garden, Chatelherault, Glasgow Green and an abandoned cement mill. Then of course I had my Easter bunny photo shoot. Finishing the month off over in Edinburgh for the Beltane Fire Festival!

 

 

May 

 

Started with the trek home from Edinburgh and just over a week later was followed up with a trek down south for LARP. The weather was reaching its peak – thankfully this was when my Bandelettes arrived! Just as we were getting into the warmest weather – when the risk of chub rub is at its highest – and honestly, I still can’t describe how much better they made my life. It’s amazing what a band of lace can do haha. The end of May had the AMOTY2019 auditions (which I made it through but couldn’t attend the finals).

 

 

June 

 

Had some very interesting photo shoots, not all of which were my favourite but it was certainly a good learning experience. It was also the month we took Bouncer on an accidental 3 hour walk…having decided to explore a back path at Chatelherault but not realising how long it was…ooops. I went along to a small protest in Glasgow to draw attention to the fact that the government was considering legislation that would shut down strip clubs and potentially put 700 workers out of a job. Ended up in the papers haha. Went swimming in a stream up North. Had a BBQ in a thunderstorm – as is becoming the tradition. 

 

 

July 

 

Is when a very lovely fan bought me a big floppy sun hat to save me from the strange glowing orb that had decided to visit Scotland. It was also started off with a wonderful group shoot with my gals! We – as usual – got up to plenty of mischief and got tons of awesome photos. I continued to go along to #AskThe700 campaign days in Glasgow, giving out flyers, trying to get people to fill in the consultation and generally doing my best to raise awareness and fight stigma. In line with that, I was over the moon that my “Stop Censoring Sluts” crop top from BeABimbo & Exotic Cancer arrived whilst the weather was still good. It’s super comfy and I can’t wait for the sun to come back so I can wear it more often (and without freezing my tummy). July was also when Glasgow held it’s MardiGla day – which was essentially a mini pride event. Lot’s of LGBT+ friendly stalls and merch. Amazing people wearing fabulous outfits. I got so many badges! It was good fun. The month finished up with a hair colour top up, some photo shoots and a picnic with pizza!

 

 

August 

 

Brought a visit from my Mum and another trek down south for LARP. I got to play a very spooky tooth monster, which I loved and the players hated haha. Whilst my Mum was visiting, we also went to see my Sister and an old family friend, which was nice. I went to my second nerf game and got shot a lot haha. The month finished off with a protest against Brexit (I’m still holding out hope that we come to our senses) and some time with friends.

 

 

September 

 

Brought a bit of house tidying, a trip to ikea and very pretty new lingerie.As well as a spooky home shot Friday the 13th shoot. I took my youngest Sister to get her hair dyed for the first time, which was very exciting. She settled on a very summery beach look after changing her mind four times haha. It was gorgeous though. Went down South for a Nerf game, had a great time and got to explore a giant army surplus shop. The end of the month was my partner’s birthday and you can guarantee we got up to plenty of fun things to celebrate haha. 

 

 

October 

 

Is the best month because no one judges you for getting dressed up! So I took full advantage of that and got as many spooky Halloween shoots as I could. Even the LARP event that month was spooky! I got to play a very fun spooky goo monster and jump scare players. I pulled together my Booette costume (which I’ll be getting proper pictures of for next year) thanks to the brilliant craft work of one of my LARP friends. I got along to a Scot-Pep fundraiser event with Jazz and had a lovely evening,despite getting a little lost trying to find the place haha. Then on the 30th it was Bouncer’s birthday! So as is becoming tradition, we all put on our pumpkin attire and went for a walk to play in the big park. Finishing the month with the spookiest day of all spent helping out at a Domme session ^_^ Although I suppose I should mention it was October when I kind of realised I wasn’t coping as well as I was pretending I was and finally went to the doctor to try and get some help, it was also when I decided I was going to stop drinking for a while. But it was still a good month and lots of fun.

 

 

November 

 

Started with a belated Halloween party. My Booette costume got lots of love – especially after I explained what it was haha. I had a marvellous brunch with all of the people that survived the party. Then had to return to normality, tidying up my flat and doing a little rearranging of my room. Got my hair topped up just in time for my JacqTheStripper t-shirt to arrive! Granted I had gotten a bigger size than I needed but I always worry about sizing online and I’d rather something was a bit bigger than a bit small. I went to two Nerf events in a row and got to slide down a skate park ramp whilst also having managed to hit slightly more people than I had before – steady progress. I got started on the xmas themed shoots towards the end of November. Figured I’d try and stay ahead as long as I could. I had also spent the month doing a fair bit of volunteering for both THT and Umbrella Lane which was great and I’m hoping to continue my work with both of them in the new year. 

 

 

December 

 

Has flown by, it’s the 31st as I’m writing this blog and honestly I don’t know where the time has gone haha. It’s been a ridiculously busy month. It started with a last minute work trip to Edinburgh for a few days. Using my free time to make up sashes for Cirque De Fetiche which was being held on the 20th that I’d only really gotten on board with during the last week of November. As soon as I returned from Edinburgh I had a photo shoot with the gals then I was basically spending all of my free time doing work for CDF, writing up planning docs, making a Twitter, making content for social media as well as getting myself ready for it. With a small break on the 12th to go and vote and try to encourage other people to vote too. The advantage to being in control of so many different social media accounts is that I can reach a far larger audience and potentially get more people up and doing things. We didn’t really bother with xmas decorations this year but my friend made us a wreath for our door which was lovely. I topped up my colour at home and even went to the trouble of matching all of my fluff haha. Went to see the new Star Wars at the midnight showing, despite being thoroughly exhausted from working so much. I enjoyed it but don’t worry I won’t go into it so there’s no spoilers here. The day of the CDF event arrived and as expected was chaotic as hell but we managed. I’m beyond grateful to all of my friends that came along and lent a hand. We would have really struggled if they hadn’t given us their time. I slept until about 3pm the day after the event – granted we didn’t get home until 4:30am but I was so dead. Surprisingly, my feet were mostly fine, I had survived 5 hours in 7 inch stripper heels! Then on Sunday I went along to see Closet Organ playing in town, I was too tired to stay for the whole gig but I was really glad I managed to see them perform. It was a very enjoyable gig and if I hadn’t been so tired I think  it could have been a proper riot of a night. Then it was xmas day and I was still exhausted but we had a lovely dinner with the family and got home and slept like logs. I’ve spent the last of this month resting, prepping and doing some charity shop hunting. Tonight I’ll be heading down to the borders to have new years with some friends I only see once a blue moon so I’m looking forward to it. Plus it’ll be a great chance to get rid of some of the alcohol I still have in the flat haha. It’s a weird transition moving from the “party flat” to the “we don’t drink” flat but I do think it’s for the best. So that’s it for 2019. It’s been a bonkers year but it had a lot of good stuff. 

 

 

2020

 

As much as I’m not a huge fan of New Year’s resolutions I do like to try and set myself goals and think about things I’d like to do in the new year. I never really put too much emphasis into them because I know if I did then I’d get really stressed out if I don’t achieve them. So I keep it casual or I set small goals that I’m sure I’ll be able to accomplish.

 

For 2020, I’d like to learn to do the splits (both ways). I think that’s achievable if I keep up my stretching.

 

Other things I’d like to happen that probably won’t are things like: learning to drive, getting a car and buying a house. Mostly because those all rely on having money. Being freelance tends to mean money isn’t very stable so you have to take each day as it comes.

 

But I’m feeling positive that 2020 will be a year of continuing growth, I’ve already got so many plans and ideas for the year so as long as I can stay motivated, I think it’ll be good.

 

Plus I’m getting married in 2020 so it’s bound to be a great year haha!

 

Whatever the new year brings you and whatever 2019 was for you I hope that you can stay safe and be happy x

 

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International Day To End Violence Against Sex Workers 2019 – 17.12.19

Afternoon all, I know it’s been a while since my last blog post and I have so much to catch you up on but today is a very important day and deserves it’s own blog post.

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Today (17th December 2019) is International Day to End Violence Against Sex Workers day.

It’s a day of remembrance and hope for the future for workers across the world.

Here in Scotland there are multiple sex worker led charities that have arranged events to commemorate the occasion and to bring the community together. I’ll be attending Umbrella Lane’s vigil this evening in Glasgow, where we’ll be remembering those we’ve lost and sharing our hopes and wishes for the future. If you’re a worker in the Glasgow area and want to get involved then feel free to reach out to them on social media or via their website.

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If you’ve been following me for any length of time then you’ll be well aware that sex work is something I’m always striving to fight the stigma of and to continue fighting for rights and policy that the workers themselves are asking for.

Unfortunately in recent times I’ve been hearing that Scotland is considering following the harmful lead of the “Nordic Model” and is looking to criminalise buyers. I could go into a full on rant as to why this is bad but frankly I don’t have the energy right now – the information is out there – Google it.

Which brings me to my closing points for today’s blog.

As with all minority groups struggling to fight stigma and gain rights, we don’t always have the energy to educate everyone on everything. You can’t expect the already oppressed to use up all of their energy to inform those that live comfortably in the category of the oppressors. Educate yourself. Tip a sex worker. Pay for your porn. Vote for politicians that support workers and not “exit programs”. Listen to the people these policies will have a direct effect on. Fight for social security. Look out for your neighbours. Build a stronger community and remember that we’re all human beings just trying to survive in this world.

And as always, stay safe and be happy x

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